Are You Spiritual ?

A little bit over 2 years ago , when I first started my healing journey ,or spiritual journey as other might call it , I didn’t quite understand what is actually going on with me .

the times where I have been happy sad , were so normal in those times that at some point I thought ,that’s actually who I am .

I started to think that ,there is possibly no way ,that I’m going through spiritual journey , I have read so many things on this subject and I always seemed like I’m being far behind any expectations regarding to that journey .

I felt like there is so many things I will have to change within myself to become a spiritual person ,that at some point I thought , what’s the actual point in doing that , am I not good enough now ? do I really need to wake up 4am , meditate then do yoga , move to some place where i can enjoy the nature on daily basis etc , oh go vegan ? buy crystals ? start reiki and be happy go lucky at all time ? even when I feel like a piece of shit ?

No , you don’t need to do all that , and sooner you accept it ,the easier the journey and healing will be , well maybe healing is not the easy one ,because we clearly have so many things to work on but looking back , I know every pain and day down was necessary, the same with now

I feel kind of OK but not really , and what’s makes me sad is the fact that I don’t really know yet , what is the issue now . But I’m willing to take that time and see what will come up .

Shadow work , meditation ,journaling , whatever will come to your mind , i have done it , yet the most helpful tool for me was to record my memories, I started to do that and the amount of emotions going out while I was recording myself was absolutely unbelievable

I never thought that them things can make me so upset , I was crying like never before and yet them memories , didn’t seem to be so hard on me or difficult in that matter , they were not traumatic , sometimes I would even say they were silly and unimportant yet they made me realise how much I’m holding myself back ,because of them past events .

Take the time you need , heal at your own pace , don’t explain yourself to anyone this is your journey and you are the one who will have to deal with everything . Be strong and believe in yourself . I know that sometimes we need someone to understand us and we might struggle when we all alone in that , I know that feeling because I go through it alone since the start, yet I know how important it is for me to never give up on myself and to fight for myself and do what I love and want to do the most .

Honorata Czestochowska
Honorata Czestochowska

Everything about me and the life I live !


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